It's Done. But For How Long?

Okay, I did it.

I ripped off the band-aid.

I stopped the madness.

I quit Facebook.

And, full, disclosure, not for the first time.

I just have had enough of the meaningless banter, the photoshopped images, and the concept of “likes” and how it can give you a bit of a rush when you get a bunch of them, and how you can catch yourself checking it several times a day, with total FOMO.

I’ve spent much of my life seeking extrinsic validation. I’m really ready to stick to the intrinsic. I mean, that’s what we want to teach our kids, right? Nevermind, I don’t need you to agree, I’m okay.

So sure, I’m done, but I’m not going to say it’s forever. I mean, I fall back into when I need it. When we were moving every eighteen months, I needed it to stay in touch with my friends. It was a lifeline during a very lonely time. But now that I’m grounded and growing roots somewhere, I have the joy and blessing of friends whom I can see IN PERSON. So why would I want to see a photo of them when I can meet them for coffee or walk down to the beach with them?

Let me be clear. I am not saying Facebook is bad. I am not saying I am better than Facebook. Please. I love my pop culture, Entertainment Weekly, I watch lots of shows on Netflix and Hulu, and I enjoy texting and emoticons, maybe even more than the next person.

So I am not a Luddite, nor am I anti-technology.

It just wasn’t working for me.

It didn’t make me feel good.

I used to call it Fakebook, because I felt like people were hiding most of their real lives, only showing the shiny parts. The only FB page I really loved was one by one of my former students, called My Mundane Life, where people honestly and actually talked about those aspects of life, and it’s funny and relaxing and mellow. I’ll miss that.

So what’s the point of being on FB?

Arguably, I’ve gotten in touch with people from long ago, which can be fun. But, ultimately, I believe, if you haven’t spoken to someone in 20 years, there might be a reason for that, and if you REALLY wanted to find someone, you could do it in other ways.

I needed Facebook when I first moved in my community. But I’ve been here for nearly three years now, and I am fortunate enough to know people I can ask for plumber recommendations, or information on classes for my kids, and, most importantly, I can have meaningful discussions in PERSON.

I don’t discount social media. I am especially impressed with the young adults who use it for good, to rally for social justice. But, come on, THEY don’t use Facebook. They use Snapchat, Instagram, House Party, and God knows what else. I mean, my teenage kids have zero interest in Facebook. It’s for middle-aged people with too much time on their hands. I don't mean to offend. I mean, I’m a middle-aged person with the luxury of too much time on my hands. Total First World Problem.

But you know what? If you like it, use it. If it’s fun for you, go on, then. You do you. I’m not judging you for using Facebook. I’m choosing to spend my time in other ways. I’m making a decision based on what I want to do, not what I think everyone else is doing, or what everyone expects of me. I’m getting too old to worry about impressing people. It’s been half a century, I’m exhausted. Enough, already.

Besides, of the 175 or whatever “Friends” I had on Facebook, the only ones I’m really still in touch with live around the corner, or down the street. So why not go and see them? Many names are on my list of people from three or four moves ago, and I can barely remember them. That’s not a friend. That’s a contact. Nothing wrong with that. But I have nothing to say to them and they don’t have anything to say to me, either. Otherwise, we probably would have said it already.

I’m just more interested in seeing Faces IRL. And I'm lucky enough to get to do that.